If Mama Ain't Happy...

20 years

I got a Facebook post on my wall from an old boyfriend, reminding me
that it was twenty years ago this week that we'd met each other. (It's
actually next week, but after two decades, I can cut him some slack
for getting the date wrong. The fact that I know the exact date is
further proof that I'm kind of pathetic.)

I remember now, the early days of our dating. Those were the days
when I could eat a cheesesteak at ten at night with no risk of
heartburn. Meeting somebody for breakfast at 8:30 meant I could roll
out of bed at 8:15. Those were also the days when I changed who I was
to fit in with whoever I was dating, and had no life during the times
when he had something else to do. Once we started seeing each other
exclusively, I stopped going to the dining hall with my roommates or
classmates. We hung out every night, either "studying" (there really
were some trips to the library, but if we'd been as focused on our
books as we were on each other, I think I'd've graduated magna cum
laude) or doing stuff with his fraternity brothers. I cringe at some
of my personality back then, but I also miss some of the freedom and
fun that I had, and my ability to just do stuff without becoming so
hypercongnitive.

But what freaks me out now is that it's been half a lifetime since he
and I split up. And that I thought I knew what life was like, back in
the day. Now that I've gotten old (hee!), I've realized that I don't
know a darned thing.

Sent from my iPod

Posted via email from mamakaren's posterous

Persea americana, wonder food

I saw an article awhile back (probably five or six years ago now) that said that there is something in avocado that mimics the brain's production of seratonin.  I can't seem to find the article again, and the study may have been somewhat spurious, but I cling to the findings anyway.  Any excuse to eat more avocado (which I couldn't stand when I was a kid.  Funny how tastes change.)

 

Hoss had an "elopement incident" during the service project at church yesterday.  I was in the parent meeting about the at-home religious education program, and the boys were supposed to be making cards to welcome back the military personnel who would be coming into BWI airport.  I went to pick them up at the end of the hour, and Hoss was nowhere to be found.  He had slipped out without doing the project, and was among a large enough crowd that his absence wasn't noticed.  We did find him, but not before I fell apart into a hysterical mess and had to field the well meaning (while misguided) reassurances from the adults in charge of the project who don't know the depth of his issues.  I think I will mention this to the school psychologist during the IEP meeting tomorrow morning.

 

One of the primary challenges of my job is documenting highly charged and confidential discussions during meetings.  Striking a balance between capturing the essence of the opinions expressed, yet still being properly diplomatic and objective, is not always easy.  The document I recently finished was reviewed by multiple people internally and the language used to characterize the tenser topics at a recent meeting was tweaked by folks with more knowlege and word-spinning skill than I have.  But, ultimately, the notes are still mine.  So, I was dealt a bit of a blow when one of the meeting attendees to whom the notes were sent for approval simply replied "I do not approve these notes, due to the fact that they do not accurately capture XYZ."  No recommendation for changes, just "Nope. You didn't do it right.  Move along."

 

Hubby is working tonight, so I am on my own to for pick-up, dinner, bath, homework, and bedtime duty.  Let's hope the munchkins cooperate, because this guacamole isn't going to make itself.

Posted via email from mamakaren's posterous

Recharging

I had a difference of opinion with Hubby last week about communication and social networking.  When he realized I have a Twitter account (which I've had for years and never hid from him, yet he is somehow just realizing it exists), he rolled his eyes and proceeded to tell me why the whole Twitter/Facebook/MySpace/constant texting trend is foolish.  He watches his students, who cannot go more than 5 minutes without whipping out their cell phones and who have FB and Twitter accounts full of silly updates.  He opined that devotees of social networking sites are self-centered to think that the webosphere needs to know their every move and thought.   I countered with the renewed friendships I've been able to forge because I can share pictures and stories and thoughts with my high school friends who live halfway across the country, and how many interesting articles or websites I've found because I follow someone who tweeted a link.  I planned my high school reunion on Facebook, with members of the planning committee in three diferent time zones.  I carry my mobile phone with me constantly during conferences, since it only takes a text to be able to let my manager (who could be in any one of about six different places in the hotel) know that I finally got the 1:30 speaker to bring us his slides.  In the end, Hubby and I agreed to disagree about the use of texts and websites and such.  He sees the trend through the eyes of a teacher, and is viewing the use of technology in terms of how it is used by teenagers, I see it through the eyes of a user who now can stay connected to a myriad of people, regardless of the time of day or location.

But then I started to think about why that connection is so important to me.  I have friends and family who I do see on a regular basis, and who I can call on the phone if I want to share a funny story or if I need some advice and support.  Before message boards and social networking sites and picture messaging on the cell phone, people connected and communicated.  They called each other, they sent letters, they looked at each other's photos, they met for coffee.  But somewhere along the line, I started to need something more than that.  When I was pregnant with Hoss, I joined a message board with other women who were due in the same month I was.  We were able to talk about the stages of pregnancy, the first time moms could ask questions to those of us who'd been through it before, we complained about the stuff that our husbands didn't want to listen to anymore.  And when he was born, these were the ladies who talked me down off of my sleep-deprived ledge and reminded me that there was light at the end of the tunnel.  When Hubby was at work, and I was at home with a potty-training daughter and a son who was hungry AGAIN (Good God, does this baby ever stop eating?!), they were there.  And one post from me would result in a dozen responses.  A phone call is great, but it can't get that information out to so many people, and get so much response at one time.

I would never have described myself previously as being an extrovert, since I always considered myself kind of a social misfit.  But I've come to realize that being an extrovert doesn't mean that I'm comfortable or confident interacting with all people, it just means that I get my energy and become revived by being with others.  After a day of classes at my institute training last summer, some folks just wanted to go back to the hotel and chill.  I was in the group that wanted to hang out until all hours, talking and laughing and having a few drinks.  Same situation at conference- even after a fourteen hour work day, the best way for me to unwind is to grab dinner with colleagues, not order room service.  And having online connections has added a connected element to the more solitary times in my life.  With three children and a full time job, there are fewer opportunites for happy hours or group trips to events than when I was single or newly married.  I don't mind sitting on the couch watching a cable movie alone now that I can post an offhand comment about the movie and end up in a live chat on Facebook with someone on my friends list who loves the movie as much as I do.  I can't always pick up the phone to call my sister if I see an article or video she might think is funny, but I can send her a link.

I'm not saying that Twitter is some noble enterprise, or that Facebook is going to save the world.  I'm just saying that it's one more way for someone like me to feel like they can recharge their batteries, instead of burning out.

Posted via email from mamakaren's posterous